Finding Out You’re the Problem in Your Relationship and How to Fix it

The sad truth is that we have to go through numbers of people and problems to find “the one.” Many relationships end within 6 months and half of the marriages end in divorce due to miscommunications and incompatibilities. There’s always the question of “where did we go wrong?” when the after-effects of breakups set in.

The blame is often placed on the other partner and most of the time people never take the time to reflect to realize that they may have had something to do with the result of their relationship. Whether you are a toxic person or have made mistakes, it’s always good to understand and accept how and why your life is changed the way it has.

Ignoring your problems with your relationship only makes things worse and sometimes looking back to reminisce about the good times can bring you closer. To have a successful long-term relationship with your partner, make sure to pay attention to yourself as much as you pay attention to them. There are countless reasons why relationships and marriages don’t work but when dug down deep there are a few larger explanations.


One of the most popular reasons why relationships do not work is because of the lack of communication. Communication isn’t just what and how you say things but it is about the physical, and emotional connection you have with your partner. Find out what your partner needs and how to give it to them. The key to a successful relationship is learning how to communicate with them.

There will be conflict in every relationship and it depends on how you deal with those complications matters to keep you and your partner happy. Distance and anger accompany miscommunications as you and your partner aren’t understanding each other or not trying to. Listen to the issues they may have and respond with a calm tone and with empathy. This allows an actual conversation to flow instead of a fight and gives the chance to fix the issue then.

Take ownership for what you could’ve done and acknowledge that there was a better way. Avoid placing blame when communicating as it can result in your partner getting defensive. Stick to “I” phrases and assertive communication to make them feel less attacked.

Holding a job

There are many reasons why people can’t keep a stable job for long and it puts a damper on relationships and marriages. From self-esteem issues to mental health, people deal with the struggle of working consistently. Try to dig deep and see why this is an issue to aide your relationship back to the way it was when you both were happy.

Don’t have unrealistic expectations when working and realize what your job is to start accepting it. Sometimes we think the grass is greener somewhere else and constantly leaving our old jobs to start new jobs. Comparing situations that you’re in currently to someone else’s not only decreases your happiness in life, but it takes away from your actual reality.

Having an unstable job can lead to frustrations in a relationship and can make your partner feel as if you’re not doing enough or anything at all.


When someone can’t keep a job it results in lack of money, and lack of money in a relationship leads to conflict and resentments. No job means no money most of the time and this can create financial burdens for you and your partner. Stress in a relationship, especially financial stress, often causes mates to fight and break up.

Fix the issues you have with your job or career or figure out what it is that you can do that will make you happy. Finding happiness in your career and job spills over into the happiness you find in your relationship, especially if you have some kind of financial security.

Sex Life

Intimacy is a large issue when it comes to the downfall of relationships and marriages. It is crucial to the survival of love with your partner to have intimacy and affection. Not only is this the most important part of a relationship but the most special. Enjoying sex with your partner ignites a certain love and appreciation for them and allows your partnership to bloom. Intercourse benefits your well-being all around and results in intellectual, emotional, and social growth.

You may have issues with connecting with your mate and being intimate can fix that. When you realize you aren’t spending enough time together, make plans for sex as it will increase the need and want you to have for their time and energy.

Whether the sex you do have isn’t fun or you feel that it doesn’t happen enough, trying new things and being spontaneous can benefit your relationship drastically. Have a conversation with your partner and find out what’s missing or what could be done to make your sex life spark again. Find out what they really like if you don’t know or have forgotten and spend time on those things.

Building a family

Disagreements about what you want in life like a family can have negative effects on your relationship and sometimes cause them to end altogether. It is okay to not want kids or to start a family at the time of life you may be, but the conversation should be had. To have a successful long-term relationship you must be on the same page about the things you want in life.

There are other issues that come with the subject of starting a family and there may be complications that one has to where they aren’t able. This can affect a relationship negatively, even though its something that can’t necessarily be helped. Many people deal with infertility issues resulting from health issues or genetics. There are possible ways around this and if you really want a family, start a conversation about what your options are.

Ways around infertility issues:

  • Adoption
  • Intrauterine Insemination
  • In Vitro Fertilization
  • Treating Ovulation
  • Male fertility treatments

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