We don’t just grow up. We are raised.

I will never grow upWe laugh at men who act like boys – think movie Hangover – while our mothers shake their heads in disapproval. There used to be a time that their scorn kept us in line. Was it really that long ago?

Adults drink the night away and accomplish nothing the next day. We watch and sometimes admire the fun they’re having, and say nothing of the wasted next day. Children spend countless hours staring at the Tele and playing video games. And then we blame the producers and game creators for what they’ve created.

Discipline has been taken out of school and from many homes but we expect children to know right from wrong. Teachers are now “facilitators” but the expectation to teach academics and surprisingly, morals has become far greater.

Should we really be that surprised that adolescence is no longer just in the teenage years but goes well into the late 20’s. Men and women who grow up in stature but act like little boys and girls, as if they weren’t raised to know better.

Here’s a list of problems plaguing my fellow generation of men:

  • Inability to have meaningful and healthy relationships.
  • No or vague career goals
  • A desire to have a man’s body but continue acting like a boy.
  • Entitlement
  • Excessive fun to work ratio
  • Don’t know the meaning of hard work
  • Pursuing the minimum standard and then…
  • expecting a trophy for last place
You can’t teach someone who isn’t willing to listen and learn. They think they already know. But you don’t know what you don’t know.

Achievements “men” talk about:

  • How much they can drink.
  • How many girls they’ve slept with.
  • What new video game they just bought (only the 5th one this month)
  • How they talked their way out of responsibility
A boy can join the Army at 18 and be trained in manly skills to defend his nation. He’ll be challenged to become a better man, but the decision is his alone.

This problem isn’t for males alone. But since I happen to be one it resonates with me more. I think we’ll be facing a crisis, if we haven’t already.

Here’s an excerpt from an interesting article I read called “Dudes! Why guys aren’t growing up.

“U.S., sociologist and gender studies expert Michael Kimmel found a trend of “guy” culture that is marked by the inability to have healthy relationships with women, murky career goals, and the desire not to grow up. After interviewing hundreds of 16- to 26-year-olds across the country he writes about it in his new book “Guyland”. Career aimlessness and beer and porn culture define ‘Guyland’. Kimmel writes about why many young men are trapped between adolescence and adulthood.

 You’ve probably seen this all over Facebook:

I was raised

At the time of writing this it’s been on FB for almost a month and has over 17k ‘likes’ and almost 60k ‘shares’.

This is the right way to grow up and be raised.

Here are just a few from the thousands of comments:

“When I see young guys walking through doorways ahead of their wives/girlfriends I want to puke!”

“Wish this was true for all!!!”

“I did my part, raised my kids this way. Thank God they listened, and so will their kids. High 5 to all who are accomplishing this!!!!”

“I think everyone that grew up in our era was taught these lessons.”

“we just need to pass this on to anyone who will listen!”

We’re not made to be children and immature forever. For men there is childhood and then manhood. Womanhood for girls. Somehow this in between lifestyle, a nomads land with no responsibility and carefree living has became the norm. More than that, some even boast of it. It is now expected, and you’re missing out on life if you didn’t experience it during your 20’s. Men are becoming real men in their late 20’s or not at all. Boys are running around in a man’s body trying to dodge every responsibility and hard work. Boys are having children and then not raising them the right way.

If you were to Google, “We don’t just grow up. We were raised” the very first result would be Pop star Avril Lavigne’s song called “Here’s To Never Growing Up”. How about the irony in that, and check out some of the lyrics…

We live like rock stars, dance on every bar
This is who we are, I don’t think we’ll ever change (hell no!)
They say just grow up, but they don’t know us
We don’t give a ****, and we’re never gonna change

We’ll be running down the street, yelling “Kiss ** ***!”
I’m like yeah whatever, we’re still living like that

But can this really happen? Is this really reality?

In the movies, yes. On TV, yes. In music, yes. Apparently.

In real life, no…

This is as much of a fantasy world as me getting a roster spot on the Chicago Bears. Yet many never wake up from it. This crisis might appear to have happened overnight. But it was far slower then this. Slow enough that it has almost caught us by surprise. I would venture to say that this occurred in a series of events spanning generations. It is my opinion that one of these errors was taking God out of everything. Our dollar bills are probably next.

We need to be raised. We don’t just grow up.

The questions facing each of us now are, ‘How was I raised?’ and How will I raise those I’m responsible for?. If you agree with us here at Fearless Men please share this article and help bring back the right way to grow up and be raised.

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“I was raised” picture author unknown


  1. YES. What an amazing post. We need to teach our kids…it is as simple as that. The problem is that we have so much drawing them to the dark side while we do it. Ditching the TV is absolutely the way to go.

    • Thanks Tony! I don’t have any kids of my own but I definitely agree that TV and the majority of video games do not promote the values I’d want to teach them. It’s a tough battle but one we must fight.

  2. Amen! I work with children and it surprises me at how many people are scared to teach children right from wrong. They forget that these little people will grow up to be adults in this society. Work with them early. They’d be much better off

    • Good point! I think we tend to get fixed on today and overloaded. It’s tough work and day’s are long. But if we make it a priority to teach the next generation we’ll all be better for it. Thanks for sharing!

  3. I love this. I have two daughters and my main goal in life is to raise them to responsible, respectable, caring adults. My brothers on the other hand are a different story. I need to pass this article on to them.

    • Thanks Alexa and good for you! I got 4 younger brothers and I was worried about them too. But as each hit 21 or 22 years old they really started to get this. I was actually the same way. Ha!

  4. It is definitely more common now that women have this unfair weight of being both a father and mother figure to their children, because of males lack of taking responsibility for their actions. The repercussions of a fatherless society is widening in our generation today and will continue if we don’t step up! This article just peaked my interest and I thought I would complement it with this perspective and say thank you to the women out there who are doing doing double duty!

    • Jake, you spelled it out perfectly, and I certainly echo your appreciation and thanks for mothers stepping up. There are too many boys in men’s bodies. Earlier today I saw an article title that said “Adolescence is being pushed back to 18-25 years old”. I thought it was a joke….sadly, it wasn’t.

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