Lots of men struggle with mental illness, but very few of them come forward with their issues. Faced with the stigma of being weak or less of a man, they keep to themselves. After a while, however, the stress of holding those feelings in takes a toll and spills over into all areas of your life. You begin lashing out at your wife, your performance in the bedroom declines, you’re not getting anything accomplished at the office, and you’ve stopped doing the things that once brought you joy. The changes can have a major impact on your relationship. If nothing is done to change it, you could find yourself stressed, anxious, depressed, and alone.
If you’re going through a difficult time emotionally but aren’t sure what to do about it, you’ll find this advice to be a lifesaver for you, your health, and your marriage.
Talk to Them
You can’t keep something as serious as your mental health a secret from the love of your life. They know you better than anyone else and can sense when you’re not yourself. Without a proper explanation, they can begin to believe they were at fault or that you’re changing for the worse. Express what you’re going through, how you’re feeling, and even that you’re not sure how to handle it. They will empathize with you and can help you to get the help you need to overcome your issues.
Get Help
Untreated mental illnesses can become catastrophic in your life. Once you’ve let your spouse know what’s going on with you, it is imperative that you seek treatment. If you’re simply dealing with depression, anxiety, or some other mental health disorder, you can talk with a therapist who can help you determine the root of your issues and learn new ways of coping. If, however, your mental illness has pushed you to abuse substances as well, then you need to enroll in a rehab facility to get help with substance abuse too.
Don’t Make Them Your Crutch
Your spouse cares a great deal about you and may not really know how to help you through your mental illness or addiction. It is imperative that you don’t take advantage of their sincerity. Take responsibility for your own health and actions and do the work to recover. You should not expect your spouse to put your needs before their own, overlook your negative behavior or lack of progress, lie to others about your issues, or to pacify your condition by babying you or supplying you with substances to “calm your emotions”. This isn’t fair. It ruins your relationship further.
Do the Work
Recovering from mental illness and/or addiction isn’t an overnight task. It is an ongoing process that will require you to get up and do the work on a daily basis. This means seeking therapy or treatment, practicing self-care, finding things you enjoy once again, learning how to cope with overwhelming emotions, and avoiding triggers and environments that can make matters worse. If you really want to save yourself and your relationship it is up to you to do the work.
Mental illness can happen to anyone for a number of reasons which means you have nothing to be ashamed of. If your mental health is starting to come between your marriage, it is imperative to act so that it doesn’t ruin it. Your spouse is your first line of support and your biggest fan. Talking to them, getting help, not making them a crutch, and doing the work it takes to recover will only strengthen your bond and bring you both through to brighter days.