12 Things A Man Doesn’t Have To Do Before He Dies-Stupid Bucket Lists

I know bucket lists are all the rage. Many people are inspired to write down “100 Things I’ll Do Before I Die.” That’s pretty inspiring. I have stuff I want to do before I die. A mental short list of specific things. I haven’t compiled a written list. And I won’t feel like a failure if I don’t git-r-done.

But I think there’s some things a man thinks he’s got to do to fulfill his man destiny. To become a man. To feel like a man. And he might be less of a man if he doesn’t do them. Not true. Fulfill your bucket list dreams, but don’t feel like less of a man if you don’t ever get to these in your lifetime.

Run with the Bulls

The stuff of legend that every bucket list needs right? Nah, if you don’t do this before you die, you’ll be quite alright and still a good dude.

bucket list

As a man, I had no clue that childbirth could be so fun.

Deliver a baby while trapped in an elevator

In my mental list of things I do need to do before I die, I want to stop a crime and save a life. Like badassery stuff. You know, kick a villainous thief in the throat and knee him in the groin so hard I cause septic leakage.

Wow, well that was off point. If you die without being a big moment hero, that’s fine. The greatest bucket list thing to kill is serving people and putting others first.

Save children from a burning orphanage

Actually, this is how I want to die. Not before I die. During my death I want to be defending orphans, in a burning building, while fighting off at least 30 evil doers.


I like blogging. It’s great to write stuff to help people and inspire. I want to continue to sharpen my writing ability, and by doing so continue to grow my overall communication skills.

But if you feel the urge to blog just cuz, or it’s on your bucket list, don’t feel bad if you don’t get around to it. For some it’s just a means of catharsis, an online open journal for all to read.

Stick it to the man

Ever played in your mind what it would be like to quit your job and tell your boss off that’s been giving you hell for years? Well, that would be pretty cool to do. Yet, it might impede your ability to get great employ in the future. So, if you don’t do it, you’ll be all good.

Travel to your dream location

I live in my dream location. San Diego. I can die now.

I think people should travel. I’ve been to India, El Salvador, Panama, Mexico. I’ll count NYC as a separate country. And I suppose Canada is too.

Don’t make it your priority to vacation in your dream spot before you die. I suggest traveling to the place that will most change you before you die. For me, it was sleeping near some of the poorest people in the world in India.

Do something that could get you killed

Risk your life for the prize.

Ride elephants in Vietnam while they’re swimming

You’re life can still be pretty awesome and manly without doing the most insanely complicated thing you can dream up for a bucket list.

Get in a bar fight

But I want to so bad…At least I’ll know how to win

Grow a beard

If you can’t grow a beard, you don’t have to have one to be manly. If it’s that important to you, I have heard of guys putting Rogaine on their face.

Own a motorcycle

It’s very very cool. But a death machine. If you own a bike I know you think I’m a “cager.” But I’ve seen a man, in front of my car, turn over his bike as his body slid down the street. He got up, alive, but injured.


I have a cousin that scalped himself while riding a bike. Literally. Peeled the top of his head off (it was still attached to the back). He flopped it back on and slid his hat over to keep it tacked down as blood streamed down his face. He walked his broken bike down the rode until some teenagers dragged him into the back of their truck and drove him to the hospital.

I won’t own a motorcycle in my lifetime.

Own a huge truck

There is a scientific correlation with large trucks and small penis size.

Read a list on a men’s site

Bucket lists are awesome by the way.

About Todd Mayfield

He's a lover, not a fighter. But he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.

He works for a series of private schools to advance innovative education to combat ballooning classroom sizes and challenge the status quo of the current public and private education format.


  1. Hahah where do you get those ideas from? The elephant one, did you actually ever wonder about doing it or did you hear it from someone?

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      About half I thought up on my own, a few I actually got from asking a girl what she thinks men “think” they need to do to be manly.

      Actually, the elephant one is something she wants to do so hopefully she doesn’t get mad! It’s a cool idea, I’m just using it as an illustration point.

      Did you notice one of the Mayfield Moments in there??

  2. Todd,

    There is so much pressure on men to complete a “bucket list” before they die, it’s nice to read your list and realize that we are no less men if we con’t do those crazy things.

    Thanks for taking me off the hook.

    I particularly liked your item on owning a big truck. I always suspected that those guys were trying to compensate for something.

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      Absolutely, you’re off the hook now!

      Yeah big trucks are ridiculous. What practical use do they have unless you’re over 7 ft. tall?

  3. “Do something that could get you killed.”… American Gladiator= Epic!
    ~Jesse V.

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      Haha thanks Jesse. I was googling for pictures of “get yourself killed” and for some reason a picture of American Gladiators popped up. Then I knew it was the perfect fit.

  4. lol great list Todd. Do people really have blogging on their bucket lists though?? I’ve never written out a bucket list either, but I do have some stuff that I’d like to do. It’s definitely not crazy stuff though. It is pretty dumb to feel the need to do such random stuff just to say you did it.

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      Hmmm I don’t know if it’s necessarily on their bucket list, but I’ve met lots of people that say it’s a goal to blog at some point. Not sure why, unless they really do want to make money, or it’s a way to write to the world. I’m sure they have good motivations nevertheless. It’s a great way to become a better communicator!

  5. So wait, I don’t have to deliver a baby while trapped in an elevator? What about in the back seat of a taxi? Because I thought I had to do that. lol, nice post man. :-) And actually, I sorta think bucket lists are dumb anyway. So I’ll be glad to X that off my nonexistent bucket list, haha.

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      Ha, yep I totally agree.
      You know, on second thought, I do think you need to deliver a baby while trapped on an elevator. Consider that your next job in the blue collar workforce!

  6. This will be my NON-BUCKET list. Is Canada in a different country? I’ve always wanted to run with the bulls, though. Nothing like getting absolutely obliterated drunk and being chased by livestock with big horns. Sounds like just another day at my house….

  7. Edward Antrobus says:

    Best “stick it to the man” story has got to be my parents when they worked at McDonalds in high school. They quit together and gave their notice by hooking up a tape player to the intercom and playing “Take This Job and Shove It”

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      Wow, that could be the opening to a great movie before young, high school sweethearts set out on an adventure that culminates in them saving the world. Then giving birth to you.

  8. Wow…that second to last one was rather inappropriate. Is this or is this not a Christian blog? This whole post is lacking a bit of intellectual stimulation for my taste…..I definitely wish that I had my 2 minutes back.

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      Sorry to disappoint. No, it’s not a blog targeting Christians, but men at large. Although it’s written by two guys that are Christ-followers. We’ll cuss sometimes and make outlandish statements in our less “serious” articles.

      Feel free to read some of our posts on relationships and finance. Also the articles on Fear and Loathing. You’ll find those are more in depth than this post.

      • I’ve never posted on here before but that is a pathetic statement if you call yourself a Christian. As a believer, you should be striving for excellence in the sight of God and men…

        • Todd Mayfield says:

          I think my statement was brief and unclear to some readers. It’s a statement to guys that think having a big truck is manly. Even further, it’s a message that owning something “big” doesn’t compensate for insecurity in whatever form or whatever area of life. I’m not treading on any new ground here, just reiterating what’s already been stated by others.

          Here’s some excellence to strive for. Check out these badass verses from God’s Word:

          1 Samuel 18:25-27-Here the Bible talks of David cutting off the extra skin of 200 Philistine’s penises so he can marry a woman. Now that’s a peaceful, respecting example of a man. And we sing his songs in church all the time.

          Ezekiel 23:19-20-Here the Bible describes the size of the Egyptian lovers’ special parts. It compares them to donkeys, and their emissions to that of horses. My statement in the article is pretty tame in comparison, right?

          I won’t shy away from raw and direct talk on this website. It’s time for men to hear stuff point blank, even if some ‘Christians’ get uncomfortable.

          • Todd Mayfield says:

            Also, as a note, trucks are cool and can be manly. Not trying to diss anyone here.
            Thanks for discoursing Nick and Diamond.

        • I know Todd’s already responded but as his co-blogger I thought I’d add my 2c.

          We want to expose all lies cemented into our brains by hollywood and the media of what being a man truly is (See our “Start Here” page top-left). We won’t be timid about this and will use different methods to share it. Men like raw and honest stories, messages, humor, etc… We don’t aim to be crude, desrespectful or unbiblical but we call a spade a spade. It’s inevitable that we will offend some. This is not uncommon within the Christian circle. We strive for Godly excellenece and know we don’t know everything, but still desire to share our life journey of mistakes and learning with other men – All men.

  9. I can only mark off 5 of those. I know you said not to Todd, but I feel like less of a man now. My bar fight in the Bahamas was truly epic though.

    • Todd Mayfield says:

      My man, you’ve got to fill me in on this Bahamas experience. Did you make it out in one piece? What was the damage inflicted??

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