6 End of the World Movies The Mayans Wouldn’t Want You to See

Mayan Long Count CalendarAccording to the Mayan Long Count calendar, you’re gonna die in the next 18 hours. What better way to spend it than celebrating oblivion with Hollywood? There is not a comfier seat than having home court advantage in your living room as the world burns. The end of the world is nigh, so go ahead and educate yourself with all the possibilities of the end with these fitting end of the world movies.

Now I must warn you, I assume this Mayan calendar ends at the end of the day (sundown) in whatever their timezone was. So, just make sure to have your fun before it gets dark out or you may not have much time left.

Some SPOILERS ahead. Read with caution!

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Apocalypto

This may not be specifically an end of the world movie, but it does deal with the people group that made that awesome calendar to scare us all to death. If you want to get a glimpse at the lifestyle of one crazy Mayan dude long ago, watching this gorefest will help explain a little why people are spooked out about the Mayan Long Count calendar that ends today.

You know, just a few short years ago Mel Gibson was still an awesome film-maker. He’s kind of the master of foreign, ancient language film (this film plus The Passion of the Christ). This film didn’t get a ton of attention, but it’s seriously worth a viewing. If you can stomach some pretty extreme violence.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eE1hxj1yzU?rel=0]

 

 Armageddon

If there ever were a man more prepared to protect you from Earth’s destruction (not named Liam Neeson) than Bruce Willis, someone erased him from history’s books. The impending doom of a really big rock is the looming death sting of this film. Some assume the end of the world will come with fire. Well, if Armageddon’s premise were correct, we will be eating dust and rock for about 0.5 seconds at some point today.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq6q2BrTino?rel=0]

 

Terminator 2

One of my all-time favorite movies. And my former Governator at his absolute best. I would like to officially inform the internet that I voted for Arnold in 2003. There was a time where Arnie reigned supreme in Hollywood and made some legit movies. Terminator 1 and 2 are King of these movies. He took the role so seriously he went to a shooting range and shot thousands of rounds, for hours, for days, to get to the point he could fire a gun as if he were a machine. No flinching. No blinking. Just pulling the trigger without emotion or remorse. Say what you will about Arnold, he’s pretty badass just for pulling this off.

The film is genius. A missile defense network, Skynet, that we built becomes conscious. It nukes Russia to force Russia to retaliate and nuke America in return. After the fact it builds machines and “Terminators” to wipe out and enslave the rest of humanity. Only one man can lead a resistance against the Machines. And that man sends a robot, who looks like a freaking ripped 1970s bodybuilder, to save himself as a child so he can end up saving the world from destruction. How do you beat that the night the world is supposed to die??

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXhbm4IXdsE?rel=0]

 

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

You may not have recognized him, but your new favorite Hobbit was not only first in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but he also played “Tim” (Jim) on the original British version of The Office.

I was introduced to the Hitchhiker’s guide by my Nona in the 90s. She gave me a floppy of the MSDOS text-based game. Ah the memories. I couldn’t make it far as a 4th grader but…well I don’t actually have anything positive to say. I was very, very confused.

Also starring hip-hop artist Mos Def, Earth is destroyed to make way for an intergalactic highway. Our hero Arthur escapes the the end of the world with his buddy Ford and the story begins.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbGNcoB2Y4I?rel=0]

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

This might just be the funniest, charming and endearing end of the world movie that’s possible. The world actually does end at the end of this movie. It’s for real. But Steve Carrell is on point in this movie, not only funny but serious as well. Keira Knightley plays his free spirited neighbor in a movie that follows their travels after the end of the world is announced. A mission to destroy an asteroid on course to destroy the earth fails and Carrell and Knightly, and you, enjoy one final adventure before the end.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T43InzvBm-k?rel=0]

 

Elf

With Christmas in 4 days, you can’t go wrong ramping up with some Christmas cheer. Assuming end of the world movies are correct, Elf will be the perfect fix to the final blues of your short lifetime.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jyCfRHumHU?rel=0]

End of the world movies-don’t worry, you’re not gonna die yet

Now we all know that the destruction of mankind probably isn’t imminent within the next 18 hours. Where does this idea come from? Well, the Mayan Long Count calendar actually DOES end today, it’s just likely that long ago Mayans would have assumed that the next calendar would begin and the next epoch of time would start rockin’. So if you’re nervous about today, feel free to enjoy your end of the world movies without breaking a sweat.

Comments

  1. Gotta love Elf, a definite must see. On a different note I don’t know that I could take Steve Carell in an end of the world movie seriously.

  2. I wanted to see Seeking a friend for the end of the world.

    The thing that ruined Armaggedon for me was the description of the asteroid. For width, it was the size of Texas, but you only had to drill 10 miles to get to the center? Oh no, we are being attacked by a giant pancake!

  3. Haha I love the spoiler in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World:

    My girlfriend and I genuinely did not see it coming!

    Also LOVE the Hitchhiker’s Guide movie – Alan Rickman is fantastic!

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