The following is a guest post by an author who gets the readers of Fearless Men. We’re extremely excited to have writer and “fearless coach” Peter Scott as a guest on our site. He understands fear itself–and how to overcome it. Check out what he has to say on Becoming A Fearless Man. And if you’re interested in submitting a guest post, please read our guest posting policy and contact us.
How many times do we find ourselves frozen by fear?
Our hearts palpitate, our breathing becomes shallow and fast, and soon we’re paralyzed by trepidation. At moments when we need to lunge forward, our feet plant as though in cement.
Everyone experiences fear sometimes — it’s part of being human. But no matter how overwhelmed and paralyzed your fear is making you feel, you can break through to fearlessness.
What does it mean to be Fearless?
Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. Rather, it’s the mastery of fear.
Fearlessness is about getting up one more time than we fall down. The more comfortable we are with the possibility of falling down, the more fearless we will be, and the easier our journey will become.
Fear is just a call to exercise courage.
Without fear, we can’t have courage. We cannot act courageous in any situation unless we have something to protect, something to honor, something to prove, or something to commit to. Fear is a call to action and that action should be courageous.
Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to act in spite of your fear.
But what do you do when you’re really afraid, and how do you overcome the fears that are holding you back?
When I’m afraid, I’ve conditioned myself to walk right into my fears rather than away from them.
Want to reduce your fears? Click here on how to Fear Less.
If you can get used to that, your fear will dissipate. Most of the power of fear is in your mind; it doesn’t really exist. It’s just this idea that looms because you’re unwilling to face it.
I have as much fear as anyone of you. In fact, this feels embarrassing admitting to a community of Fearless Men, but I’m going to be brutally honest with you…
Skydiving has been a life long fear of mine.
I’ve had skydiving on my bucket list for the last 10 years of my life. Fortunately, one of my “Fearless” friends wouldn’t let me back out of his invitation to overcome this fear. So after years of procrastination, I finally had the courage to throw myself out of a plane at 13,000 feet.
As the parachute opened and I gently glided towards the ground, I had a breakthrough that all Fearless Men must heed:
There is no parachute in real life.
The moment you’re born, you’ve already jumped out of a plane, and are plummeting towards your death without a parachute. Let me say this clearly…
You will die someday and are in the process of dying right now…it’s inevitable.
Every decade, every year, every month, every week, every day that passes is one step closer to your death. I’m not saying this to be morbid.
I’m saying this to remind you that this life isn’t a dress rehearsal. You can’t “play it safe” in hopes of having another chance.
This is it. This moment is all you are guaranteed right now. So are you making the best of it or are you letting your fears hold you back?
If you’ve experienced the latter, then here are 3 steps you can take today to overcome the fears holding you back:
The 3 Steps To Becoming a Fearless Man
1. List Your Fears
First you need to get crystal clear on exactly what you fear. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about this…be honest. As Bruce Wayne was asked in “Batman Begins”…WHAT DO YOU FEAR?
Click here for more on how to identify and break-down your fears.
2. Declare Your Fears
Now making this list alone isn’t enough. Keeping it private won’t inspire you to do the things that scare you.
Create a “Fearless Accountability Group” of close friends who will push you to overcome your fears. Making your fears public forces you to be honest and gives you the collective power of the group to overcome what you’ve been afraid of for years.
3. Do the Thing You Fear
This is by far the hardest, but most important step. The best way to defuse your fear is to step into it—right into the middle of it—and do the thing that you are afraid to do.
You must condition yourself to walk right into your fears rather than away from them.
Are you afraid to talk to that woman in the coffee shop? Are you afraid to present to a group of people? Are you afraid to start your own business?
Check out Go Talk To Her: How To Talk To Any Girl
Whatever you fear, you must do that thing NOW.
Becoming a Fearless Man doesn’t mean all your fears will disappear. Becoming a Fearless Man means you will boldly move in the direction of your fears until you overcome them.
So let’s use this blog post as our own Fearless Accountability Group. What is one fear that you’re committed to overcoming in the next 30 days? Leave a comment below.
Peter is the Founder of Design a Fearless Life, where he coaches individuals on overcoming their deepest fears to transform a mundane existence into a totally Bad Ass Life by Design. He believes we were all born to be Bad Asses, but somewhere along our journey we became controlled by our own fears, and resigned to “lead lives of quiet desperation”. His mission is to create inspiring, valuable content that you can implement to overcome your fears and achieve the life of your dreams.
[Featured image from Peter Scott] [Batman Begins image courtesy of Warner Bros.]