When it comes to finding love, more and more people are turning to online dating sites and with good reason. The odds of finding a partner through an online site are much higher than if you simply headed out to the bars on a Saturday night. But even with higher odds, many singles are frustrated with the online dating scene because of poor expectations. It’s not that they don’t think they will find someone, rather it is that they think they will find someone instantly. This isn’t how online dating works. In this post, I am going to show you how to make the most of online dating, so you can get the most out of it.
4 Tips For Online Dating Success
Put In The Effort
If you throw up a poorly written profile and take a few poorly lit selfies, chances are you not going to find much success with online dating. This isn’t because there is no one out there for you, but rather because you haven’t put in the effort.
Online dating is a numbers game, just like meeting someone in the bar. You don’t go to the bar dressed in sweats and haven’t showered for a week do you? No! You get all dressed to the nines and try to put your best self out there. You have to do the same when it comes to the online world too.
Take the time to write a good profile. Talk about yourself and what you like to do. Take some good pictures. Action shots are much better than selfies because they tell others more about you. Think about it: what is better a selfie of you in the bathroom mirror or a picture of you on a ski slope? The ski slope picture tells me a lot more about you and what you like than the selfie. Also, it is much easier for me to start a conversation with you when you have the skiing picture because now I have something to talk to you about.
Find The Right Match
No, I’m not talking about finding the right partner here. I am talking about finding the right online dating site. Using the example of the bar again, if you are in your 20s and are looking for a partner, do you go to the trendy bar in the city or the dive bar out in the sticks? I hope you answered the trendy bar because that gives you your best odds of success.
The same idea applies to online dating. There are tons of dating sites out there. You have to take some time to weed through them and figure out which one (or ones) make the most sense for what you are looking for. Now, I realize that this can take a lot of time. Luckily there are online dating comparison charts out there where you can easily see the differences between the popular sites and make a more informed decision quickly.
This isn’t 1950 anymore where the girl has to wait for the guy to make the first move. If you see someone that interests you, you have to make the first move. You don’t have to be bold, just send an email saying “hi” to break the ice. Even better would be to mention something that caught your eye in their profile.
The alternative to this is doing nothing. Here is why this is bad:
- First, the other person probably has hundreds or even thousands of others looking at their profile too. If you don’t reach out, odds are someone else is. You can’t wait around any longer. This is the same reason why the “wait 3 days before calling rule” doesn’t apply today either. We have too many ways of communicating with people. If you wait, you will lose your chance.
- Second, there is a chance they never even see your profile. They might do a search and come up with hundreds of results of different matches. The chances of them scrolling through everyone are slim. I’ve talked to countless people who have met through online dating sites and many times one person never saw the profile of the other until they were messaged. The moral is, don’t assume they will see you.
I know in our instant gratification world we want to meet the love of our life today. And when that doesn’t happen we get upset and want to give up. But don’t do it. Have patience and enjoy your time online. Don’t look at failed dates as failed dates. Look at them as learning experiences.
I know for me I learned a lot through all of my failed dates. I learned about what I was looking for in a partner and just as important, I learned a lot about me and I grew because of it. Take a positive view on online dating and don’t be so quick to give up.
In the end, online dating will be a success for you if you do the right things. If you just create a username and password and then wait for someone special to fall into your lap, you are going to be waiting a long time and end up very disappointed.
Put in the effort and have the right outlook and chances are you will find online dating to be a great experience.
Author Bio: Don writes at How You Can Find Love, a relationship blog that focuses on helping you find long-term love as well as navigating the online dating world successfully.